2014 has become my summer of riding around in a topless Jeep. I can even take the doors off—talking about living outside the norm!!
Driving in the jeep represents how I want to live my post-cancer life:
It has no boundaries…it can go anywhere!
But even for me, it wasn’t easy to let myself have so much fun. I was challenged by one of my coaches to come up with a way of celebrating the success of my book. The thought that my book has been written, published, and read is still very overwhelming and exciting to me. I love all the letters I’ve received from people who have read the book and really loved giving interviews to local TV and radio stations, and having a 2-page spread in Yoga Journal UK all within the last 9 months. Spreading the healthy girl’s way to redefining healthy is such a gift!
When I drive my jeep I feel 16 again, like I’m cruising with my friends, not thinking about the future and feeling like the possibilities are endless. My long curly hair blows all over the place. And the jeep is manual, so I’m the only one in my family who drives it. Sometimes I crank up the tunes in the car and other times, I drive in silence letting the outside sounds of kids playing or live music in the neighborhood create the soundtrack for my drive. I feel vulnerable to the elements around me: cold, heat, sun, rain and yet safe in my truck that is so high off the ground.
Have you ever noticed how we have a hard time letting good stuff into our lives? A ton of crap started coming up for me right after I bought my fun mobile.
I had a severe allergic reaction to a facial cleanser and my eyes were swollen shut. When I awoke and saw my eyes I was convinced I had contracted another form of cancer. My mind was racing thinking not only did I have cancer, but my body had let me down…again. I kept asking myself was I too scared to put cancer behind me and fully live in my new mantra of Redefining Healthy? Was the universe trying to teach me a lesson and test me again to feel healthy no matter what my situation?
As it turned out, I just used a non-eye cleanser on my eyes.
Did I intentionally self sabotage myself by grabbing the wrong facial cleanser? Was my mind sending me messages that I didn’t deserve the FUN?
I was struggling with really soaking in the feeling of fun and carefree. I felt like a fraud;
I was giving workshops about how I make time for fun everyday and yet I couldn’t fully embrace the fun my new topless car was offering.
I think the car represented so much more than I was willing to admit. The topless car was not only fun and free…it was my opportunity to break from my norm, do something different and totally out of character. I was scared to celebrate all the good in my life. Maybe I was a little embarrassed to say this topless car was my cancer consolation prize.
I decided to shut the voices up in my head and thank the universe for the gentle reminder that I am healthy and vibrant. I used the tools I write about in my book and scheduled an extra therapy session, re-committed to taking my daily supplements, started writing in my gratitude journal and abandoned my to-do list to start slowing down again.
My baby steps towards feeling FUN and happy again are starting to work, because I’m having more fun, smiling, and relaxing more. Isn’t that what summer is all about?
So, if you see me driving topless around town beep and yell FUN!
How are you #RedefiningHealthy this summer?
Make sure you join the #RedefiningHealthy movement on social media so you can stay up-to-date on all the best ways to #RedefineHealthy in your daily life!